POETRY

Sweet kisses and long hugs shared amongst the two

However there is nothing more than just that

Emptiness still inside of my heart

I sense all the things that are missing

On and off call when she is yearning for me

I return with no demands

Just love

memories keeping me locked down

your actions each time forces a frown

my smile is gone and you dont seem to care

but each time you reach out i never fail to be there

you seem so cold now but you fail too see

that everything you do has been really killing me

yet i somehow still stand because i know there is hope

for myself, i just cant seem to let go of your rope

I continue to reach out to you

Not desiring to lose what is by now gone

In a state of denial

There is so much that I have not accepted

All day I wait for just a hi

And when darkness approaches you appear

Too late but you know each time I will react

I know it too so why do I bother with getting upset

i attempt to weigh your positive and negative
drained by devoting so much of what you lack to achknowledge
feeling heavyhearted and unaccompanied when your not in reach
yet when you’re so close the warmth of your breath can send a chill down my spine, i feel the same
screaming out loud but not even a flinch that you have heard me
so why do i remain? yearning to be happy so i am patient with understanding
though i can never hate for my love is too strong for stubborness that i say sorry first
somewhere i heard the fight of my life for the love of my life
and i will continue fighting for you and for us
i may complain but i also do so much more i just wish you could see
to have gone through wat we have and love you for such a long time
keeps me going and hanging on to your rope
right when i feel my feet are about to touch the ground you pull me back up
but this time i felt every grain in the ground …

i don’t know what you want from me

i sense i no longer have a place in your world

i don’t desire your sympathy

i yearn for your love but you lack my own

just be real but don’t show me what you think I want to see

Instead consider me like a friend

the one you have known for nine years

i continue to hold my head up

even times when you give me reasons to put it down

my mistake for showing you my all

is how you leave me feeling each time we depart

maybe its just me

I don’t recognize what I must do

It isn’t about the delay but it is you

Your actions display worse than your lyrics say

But nevertheless I in some way can simply look away

Wanting those lyrics to come true very soon

Late dusks remaining up with just myself and this full moon

I love you I cannot disagree from my heart

In love so far but just where do I start

there was a twinkle in her eye

that made me think back to before

it drawed a smile across my face

as i looked upon her work of art

covered around her neck

i knew she was the same and not much has changed

silent moments with loud gestures

making me giggle and nervous at the same time

new appearances but old ways

in the dark i still see your light shining through

as it was time to go i couldnt move

but somehow i was reassured by making my last contact

we will be okay.

too many emotions have gone through me in such a short amount of time,

same ones i felt becoming so familar to me from a pastime,

so i am the one to blame just like before,

so convinced last time but now i am not so sure,

tears falling by surprise flowing down to my chin,

caused by so many words i possess now that i am holding within,

asking questions got me nowhere with you,

because at the time i had no place while you were doing you,

falling apart as i saw you drift away ,

no matter what we went through i just wanted you to stay,

but i failed to keep you by my side through it all,

as your heart stopped beating for mine i began to fall,

and calling out for you hoping you would catch me,

you turned away so i closed my eyes so i wouldnt see.

while i pondered with hope,

adjusting with trying to cope,

i still held on that you would be mine,

yet no such thing occured i had been declined,

assumptions that our love deserved more,

another shot with the one i adore,

my heart has not turned away from yours,

it was fighting battles and dodging wars,

but somehow it still left me with bruises and tears,

how do you let go of a love of five years,

and a friendship of nine,

but i still try to shine,

though i am no longer your sun in the sky,

i still am my own so i will keep getting by,

on my own where i was once before,

letting you go again here comes that same door.